A Missive From Nigeria

A Nigerian friend of mine sent this on to me asking if it was a scam, I told him it wasn’t. The whole of the developed world has been backing our Brians since Lehmans first told them about it in 2008.


Dear Good Sir,

Good day and compliments. I am Dr (Mr) Brian Lenihan, Chairman of Resolution Corporation of Ireland incorporating NAMA and Central Bank of Ireland . This mail will surely come to you as a great surprise, since we never had any previous correspondences. My aim in contacting you is to crave your indulgence to assist us in securing some funds abroad to prosecute a transaction of very great magnitude.

Due to poor banking system in Ireland, many good friend of us who are estimated borrowers of large stature and who are in tent with government in Galway is not paying back loans and mortgages and banks have lost ONE HUNDRED SEVENTY BILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS ($170bn) so far. This calamity has caused much suffering in my country and in bad windstorm our great tent blew away and is aviation hazard in Poland today, I send army jet to get it back and shut loud Poles up. To help remedy this situation, our president, Mr Brian Cowen , has authorised to be spent a sum of ONE HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS ($100bn) on stimulus plus many other good deeds like cash for scrappage of Nissan. Unfortunately, since that time, we are being molested and constantly harassed by bond vigilantes who do not care that their reckless and vicious behaviour will ruin our hopes and plans.

To this effect, last year I authorised the printing of ONE HUNDRED SEVENTY BILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS ($170bn) of United States currency to put NAMA scrip in bank on IOU. To my great shock, and to great shock of my most Internationally esteemed advisers in my Department this was not enough so I am now buying another SEVENTY BILLION DOLLAR ($70bn) scrip from Mullah Trichet and from President Osama and G20 Summit Wallah.

If you forward a modest sum to purchase Treasury notes then I can buy many many more of them with my unlimited scrip printing press and their price will rise. I am absolutely positive that this arrangement will be of mutual benefit to both of us. I can offer you generous interest rate of EIGHT PERCENT (8.00%) after taxes on scrip.

I want you to immediately inform me of your willingness in assisting and co-operating with us, so that I can send you full details of this transaction and let us make arrangement for a meeting and discuss at length on how to transfer this funds and scrip.

Yours Faithfully,

Dr (Mr) Brian Lenihan
Charman and Governor and Minister of Finance

Haha President Osama? :slight_smile:

:slight_smile: That’s going straight in the pool room