Dukes: We may need a new Bad Bank


Fuck off Dukes of Hazard. We’ve already got 6 of them.

But think of the professional fees :stuck_out_tongue:

Heard it all before dickhead, no dice. Now fuck off.

Homer, you’ve ruined a perfectly good jacket.
Incorrect Marge. Two perfectly good jackets.

Then what Dukes? A other one for residential?

I am immediately reminded of the film ‘Contact’.

First rule in government spending: why build one when you can have two at twice the price ? - S.R. Hadden

It is Ireland so it will probably cost us 3 times as much for 2.

We should appoint Dukes to the board of all 6 bad banks.

And when they divide and multiply he could be appointed to the board of all 36 of their offspring.

Just to look after our interests. What a ###t.

Be careful what you wish for…

If we have two bad banks for the commercial loans, then won’t they need a badder bank to manage their losses?

Once the residential market starts being tackled then we can repeat - so we’ll then have 4 bad banks and 2 badder banks.

Which would thus necessitate the 2 badder banks needing a baddest bank…

Hey… haven’t I seen this set-up before…

Goddammit!!! It’s another Pyramid Scheme!!!

Dukes the wolf in sheeps clothing goes baaaaaaaad, baaaaaaad, baaaaaaaaaad!

Jeez Alan, if Anglo Irish Bank is the baddest goddamn bank on the block, just what kind of monster are you proposing?

And where does so called “Swedish solution” NAMA fit into all of this?

Well, to be fair, a proper Swedish solution originally would have called for each of the banks to privately set up their own bad banks to work out their own bad assets. With asset swaps between each other to consolidate lenders. If they were unable to arrange that, they should have been nationalised, broken up, with the bad assets transferred at zero cost and the newly reconstructed parts instantly floated. So we would have had a Life company or two, a couple of retail banks, a couple of mortgage banks etc.

What should have been put in place at the same time as the guarantee was resolution authority. In fact, this was mostly put in as the Minister has the power from the original act to do as he wishes with the banks. I suspect a single act for each bank would be all that was required.

So why didn’t it happen? Well, febrile imaginations are all we are left with at this stage.

What Alan Dukes actually said…

Next week: Alan Dukes threatens to hold breath until he gets a bad bank.


Bad bad Dukes sheep have you any loot
yes sir yes sir three bags full
one for my master and one for my dame
but none for the little guy who works down the lane

“I think this guy needs his medication adjusted Nurse Ratched” :unamused: