EA Description vs Reality

The Spin :

"**A truly magnificent part redbrick bay window **semi-detached family residence tucked away in a small quiet cul-de-sac in this prestigious and sought-after residential location "

The Reality :

myhome.ie/residential/search … LSFK410736

Eh, looks pretty accurate to me.

Plenty of way more outlandish stuff out there!


What TUG, truly magnificent!! Pretty fucking average if you ask me.



“Truly, magnificent” is meaningless bumpf in EA jargon so I didn’t pay any attention to that.

It looks a bit like a bay window, with some bricks, so it’s pretty accurate.

There was an old relocation show on TV at the weekend.

The presenters description was “the quietest neighbours you could hope for”.
The reality was a view onto a graveyard.

Well he didn’t lie but the lady buyer was not impressed.

This nonsense is all over property ads:

… period residence of tremendous style, character and charm and is situated on this handsome terrace in this hugely popular and convenient location …

… delighted to bring to the market this substantial period residence enjoying an enviable position on this highly regarded residential…

… delighted to present a truly wonderful period residence, ideally positioned on this highly regarded and sought after road…

… delighted to offer this unique opportunity to acquire a property of such immense charm and character to the market…

… delighted to present this instantly appealing four bedroom semi-detached home…

It is all nonsense. It is also endless. They are stuck speaking an archaic language like classical greek or sacerdotal egyptian while the rest of us polloi speak demotic.

Are there no estate agents looking at this site who can confidentially provide insight into the bubble they arrear to live in or least this is how it appears from the outside?

“Warm and cosy house in an exciting neighbourhood”

:laughing: :laughing:

Oozing charm’ - damp.

Back in the sixties in London there was a legendary EA called Roy Brooks who made a good living by describing properties as badly as possible.

“Darkest Pimlico. Seedy FAMILY HOUSE two rooms in the basement, ground, 1st & 2nd floors and attic rm. on 3rd. Decor! peeling, faded and fly blown. Garden - good G.R. £60 p.a. £6,950. If you are too late to secure this gem we have a spare along the road rather more derelict. A lightly built member of our staff negotiated the basement stair but our Mr. Halstead went crashing through.”


Ireland has Green Valley Properties- gvp.ie

From their website:
Here at Green Valley Properties we do not believe in the usual estate agent’s double speak with which many of you will be acquainted. We like to call a spade a spade, not a long handled manual soil manipulator. Our descriptions attempt to convey an accurate impression of what is really there. This, quite simply, helps to save the time and frustration of time-wasting visits to properties. Life is busy enough!

Heres an example:
This traditional stone-built cottage was extended about 10 years ago. The house was last lived in by “artists” with an unusual, studentish sense of what makes a house interesting. The paintings and writing on the walls mean that the house needs complete refurbishment. Some structural work is required also. Would suit DIY enthusiast. There is also a good stone shed with metal roof and the remains of another stone building with a sculptural attempt at a roof frame. Mature gardens. The property is located on ca. 0.622 acres, on a quiet cul-de-sac, leading down to a river. Gort is within easy reach.

I think GVP are gilding the lily there slightly! :open_mouth:

I think they should just cut to the chase.

Wanted. Bulldozer, Gort Area.


Click on the picture to see more of this “traditional fisherman’s cottage”, this is an “exceptional” detached property set in half an acre of private land. Click here to read the story.

There is also what you see and what you don’t see.

(Still seeking its LTEV)

My own preference is “deceptively spacious” because I don’t think it has been thought through properly:
This phrase suggests that the spaciousness is in fact decpetive, i.e. it’s smaller that it looks/you think!

I don’t know about you, but if I was renting a house I wouldn’t want anybody on my doorstep. I don’t care if his name is Lewis, I value my privacy… :smiley:


I wouldn’t think there are too many places you can rent that come with your own bus and driver :slight_smile:

Another example of ‘spellcheck’ gone mad!

I think you’re being charitable putting this down to ‘spellcheck gone mad’- I see it as another example of stupidity or laziness from an EA who couldn’t take the time to check that the 5 lines of text he’d written to describe his client’s property was correct.
If I were the client, I’d be annoyed.