Signs of the recession

The Central Bank
#1

People will start thumbing lifts.

Clothes will be passed down from child to child.

Jim Fahy will be stationed at the departure gates in Knock at Christmas, watching entire Western families deplane. He’ll be back there again around Nollaig na mBan, watching entire Western families decamp to Boston or London once more.

Yellowpack will no longer be a term of abuse. Nor will Aldi or Lidl be four-letter words.

We’ll get better at the Eurovision. The Dustin entry will be seen in hindsight as the apotheosis of our over-reaching, smart-assed former selves. “Ah, yes, Maureen, weren’t we the right turkeys alright”.

The pint will improve.

Chipper chips will be hand-cut again.

Names like John and Mary will be back. None of your Alicia-Faye or Aifric when you’re patching their pinafores and using leftover wallpaper to cover their secondhand schoolbooks.

Churchgoing will come back into fashion because it will the only thing people can afford to do on a Sunday.

The second coming of Country and Western is almost upon us.

The Brits will start patronising us again. So will the Nordies, which will make a change from the last decade.

“Reeling in the Years” will have you reeling. People paid 600 euros for a ticket to Barbara Streisand and the bitch barely opened her gob? People queued for the right to buy overpriced apartments? And so on.

Lisbon II will pass on a 65/35 vote.

Golf will become posh again.

mod edit: changed title from signs of impending recession

#2

:question:

#3

I was served by an Irish person in Lidl last night. That must surely that is a sign.

Although that was so unusual it might be a sign of the coming apocalypse rather than simply a sign of the coming recession :laughing:

#4

3Q must be from Cork.

6 January is called Women’s Christmas in Ireland. Nollaig na mBan is Women’s Christmas in Irish.

The tradition of Women’s Christmas is particularly strong in Cork where a lot of women just take the day off, go out to dinner with their friends and leave the family to fend for themselves with the leftovers after Christmas. It’s traditionally the day before the kids go back to school in Ireland.

On the other had, I used to fly back out foreign on 2 January when i was an emigrant back in the 90s. In the current climate, staying on hol until 6 Jan is profligate.

#5

Jan 6th - AKA Little Christmas: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Christmas

So called because it was the day that the menfolk traditionally did all the housework letting the women relax.

Also the day one traditionally took down the Christmas lights.

#6

OK - I saw the first sign!!

I was driving to the long term car park in Dublin Airport at 5:45am this morning. There was a man walking on the side of the road with a handwritten sign saying ‘BELFAST’.

He was still walking when I was on the bus to the Terminal…

#7

I’ve noticed a trend whereby the profile of service staff in retail and hospitality in Dublin is tending towards the Irish. Outside Dublin, it still tends towards the eastern European. I explain it by assuming that people living at home can afford to live in Dublin whereas if you’re on minimum wage in a supermarket in Ireland, financially you’re better off being as far away from Dublin as you can be as rents are lower and you can save more.

#8

:blush: Is this something you’re only supposed to do in a recession?

#9

3Q’s mother is from Cork, which is the next best thing :wink: and indeed she observes the holiday as you depict it. In our house, it was a day for us to give Mammy breakfast in bed and for Dad to burn the gammon steaks and blacken the arse of the spud pot.

And no food ever tasted better, because of the novelty of it all.

#10

Get your recession survival kit

Sodastream

Parka Jackets

2nd hand Raleigh Grifter

Hula Hoops
(or any toys that don’t require batteries.

And to finance your survival kit:
The Never Never

-Rd

#11

The thermos flask of tae replaces the moccafrappalattecino in Dundrum shopping centre and similar environs.

#12

Camping to Caravaning to Brittas/Achill/Kilkee instead of the usual 2 week sun holiday to Spain.

#13

Caravan???

Posh Git, get a tent like the rest of us.

#14

As long as ‘holidaying’ at home gets cheaper!

#15

Here is a tip, for “illegal” camping, get a camouflage tent ! :wink:

#16

The guy working the fryer in McDonalds used to be an estate agent

#17

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

#18

Well, you can rent caravans in most seaside towns…although in recent years they’ve mostly been relabelled as mobile homes :wink:

Ah I can see it now, entire families huddled around a single flame Campingaz cooker, frying up some Lidl sausages.

#19

Call me anal but:

A - l - d - i
1 - 2 - 3 - 4

L - i - d - l
1 - 2 - 3 - 4

#20

parents giving their kids bad haircuts and making them cycle to school where possible. music gets better again.

i think John Hurt said that when he moved to Ireland generally people interested in books, plays and films but in the last ten years all people are interested in is property.