Stupid things EAs say

#1

To complement the ‘stupid EA photos’ thread, how about some stupid EA descriptions? (Apologies if such a thread exists - couldn’t find it.) Anyway, for starters, this gem from ‘Dublin 4 Shortlets’:

"AVAILABLE 28th. April - Large stylish 2 bedroom HOUSE, situated close to Dublin 2. Berystede is an enclave of peace and quiet amidst the hubris of the South City. A short walk to the Ranelagh and the Luas, or Mount Street Bridge,and St. Stephens Green beyond this House is ideally located.

daft.ie/lettings/berystede-l … n/1431603/"

Hubris?

#2
#3

I dunno, 'hubris of South City" seems quite apt. Might not be what the EA wanted to convey though.

#4

A " luxury " home

Since when did you hear an E.A. describe a house as ordinary

#5

Similarly, when is an apartment described as anything other than “spacious”.

Probably best to avoid putting “44 sq.m.” in the same sentence though:
daft.ie/sales/52-wyckham-pla … in/934139/

#6

An new description for a semi-d… but surely its worthy a detached status!

myhome.ie/residential/brochure/dunsandle-corbawn-lane-shankill/2776034

#7

They don’t tend to understand adverbs either:

“Elegantly situated on Lower Kimmage Road”

myhome.ie/residential/brochu … 6w/2778039

#8

“Unavoidably situated on Lower Kimmage Road” doesn’t have quite the same ring though!

#9

“A great opportunity arises to acquire this superb Crampton built family home…”

This great opportunity has arisen by, er, the house being put up for sale.

myhome.ie/residential/brochu … in/2730238

#10

They’ve written an essay here, stating that they’re “honoured” to offer it.

“double bedrooms that ooze space” - you usually have to wait for the survey to find this kind of stuff out, but they warn you in advance…

“The elegant exterior of this fine residence gives just a flavour of the exceptional craftsmanship and high standard of design which is evident throughout the house.”

Now is a good time to look at that elegant exterior:

myhome.ie/residential/brochu … -9/2810617

To cap it all off it finishes the list of ‘features’ with:
**
“Dreams simply do come through!”**

8DD

#11

LMAO. Some exterior alright.

Lovely interior, in fairness. I’m just not prepared to pay 350K for a 2 bed

#12

The overly-used “deceptively spacious” might mean the opposite of what the EA wishes to convey.

If the property’s spactiousness is deceptive; could this not mean it’s smaller than it looks? :angry:

#13

Photo 2
“Anything good on TV?”
“We’re watching a photo of the elegant exterior of our fine residence”
“Great!”

#14

:laughing:

Sure what else would you be watching!?

#15

Great spot

#16

‘Realistically priced for quick sale’

as opposed to all of our other properties that are unrealistically priced cause we don’t want to sell them?

daft.ie/sales/10-fergus-park … re/956135/

#17

There is quite a few properties on market that are priced to not be sold.

#18

What the fuck does “not overlooked” mean (usually in relation to a garden)?

#19

your neighbour can’t see you sunbathing in the nip

#20

The EA should look up the word hyperbole in his/her well-thumbed dictionary