Stupid things EAs say


#181

The new JobBridge intern is really trying to impress.


#182

That is a panic. The fact the house was built in 1942 after all of his/her historical research was the cherry on the cake for me. Perhaps the work of a double agent satirising estate agents?


#183

No, its just one odious wannabe snob marketing to other odious snobs who might be impressed with this shite. “Minstrel’s gallery” my arse!


#184

47 Seville Place, Dublin 1, Dublin 1

:blush: Truth in advertising


#185

25 Charnwood Heath, Clonsilla, Dublin 15
myhome.ie/residential/broch … 15/3852319

“This lovely home is ideally situated over-looking the green with an excellently proportioned rear and side garden, with the added benefit of detached garage for extra storage.”

Curiously, there appears to be no way to get a car or even motorbike into the garage, except by craning it into the rear garden.



#186

The side return does look to be wide enough to get a car through, even if there does currently appear to be a wooden fence blocking access. I doubt anybody would use it to garage their daily runabout but it’d be viable as a garage to store a classic that only sees occasional use.


#187

Garages really aren’t used to store cars anymore. Its ironic because nearly all one off planning applications include a garage. Its just something that planners are used to. If you actually put down ‘tool shed’ or ‘games room’, they would have a fit.


#188

I hope that’s just a size issue as I forgot to put the bloody shed on my planning application (it really is a shed, not a garage).


#189

It’s exempt, provided it follows the rules: dublincity.ie/main-menu-serv … permission?

You can actually build a surprisingly big shed as an exempt development.


#190

myhome.ie/residential/broch … -8/3871127

Immerse yourself in the luxury! It’s pretty much like Trump Towers, only with more storage heaters.

Though a quick Google indicates that this may just be a stock phrase used by Sherry Fitzgerald: property.examiner.ie/residential … re/3831703

It’s presumably their own-label version of ‘deceptively spacious’.


#191

More lovely EA prose:

“This stunning home was built to exalting standards…and finished to the highest specification, boasting a host of bespoke features and a creative contemporary exterior is mirrored by a stunning interior which fully avails of the south facing light.”

Meanwhile:

“The city centre is literally on the door step and is only 10 minutes away by car…”

daft.ie/dublin/houses-for-s … n-1452494/


#192

Great ideas for the zombie apocalypse or when you’re struggling with the million quid mortgage, whichever comes first:

Then, after you scrub the dirt from under your fingernails, you can hob-nob with local celebs 'cos it’s only a short walk to everything within a ten square mile area:

daft.ie/11469699


#193

There was one a while back that was claiming to be a ‘short stroll’ from UCD, Trinity, and the Phoenix Park. I think it was in Sandymount. Either estate agents stroll very very quickly, or it came with its own personal wormhole.

Weird. Taking the fireplace with me when moving wouldn’t have occurred to me.


#194

#195

My god, so much to do would you ever have time to live in the bloody house ??


#196

Yip, I’ll buy that gaff so I can hob nob with Bono and Enya in the frozen food section of Super Valu Killiney. Reads like some drivel Mark Keenan would write, just after he’s taken three paragraphs to tell the history of some dog that once took a dump in the garden, back in the days when the plot was part of a field owned by somebody listed on the 1902 census


#197

I was sure i had posted in this before.

2 years back myself and the wife were looking (SCD) we went to view a house that was described as a 4 bed.

So we arrived, one of the 4 beds was a front room converted due to an ground floor extension at the back. We were out looking at the extension and we had our baby with us (10 months).
EA asked how old the baby was, i replied she was 10 months, and then “she’s a little undersized isn’t she? Does she have a growth issue?, my little lad is 3 months old and he’s the same size”

thankfully my wife was far enough away not to deck him, but we left, EA was oblivious to the insult! so i told him he’d want to get his child checked out, he obviously has some form of gigantism.

A couple of months later, we go to view the house we now own and its the same EA… “oh hi nice to meet you, i’m XXX”
Very curt reply, “we’ve met before, you told us our child had some type of growth deficiency”, shock and horror… "no surely not, we’ve never met before… i gave him the date/address etc and he was embarrassed obviously, still annoys me he got commission out of us :angry:


#198

:open_mouth: what a strange comment, not to mention how stupid it was from his own point of view and then not to even remember it!


#199

My son was two months premature, so was tiny as a result, I had at least one person comment that they thought that I was carrying a doll around.
He’s now 5cm taller than me.


#200

Conveniently located for the Bus! :laughing:

bbc.com/news/uk-england-derbyshire-40529083