Stupid things EAs say


#61

Terrible prose and grammar, and replete with clichés. Yes, a classic EA listing:

RAY COOKE AUCTIONEERS are delighted to present this magnificent 3/4 bedroom [THREE QUARTERS?] semi detached bungalow to the market in one of South Dublin’s most sought after locations. Farrenboley Cottages finds itself [FINDS ITSELF?] within minutes walk of Windy Arbour Luas Stop and in addition to this you will find Dundrum Town Centre, The M50 Motorway [WHY THE CAPITAL LETTER?] and a host of bus routes all within arms reach [ARMS REACH?]. Living accommodation of c. 950 sq ft comprises of entrance hall, lounge, kitchen/dining room, main bathroom and four bedrooms. No. 6 has been extended to the rear and boasts a spectacular rear garden c. 60 ft long with huge potential to further extend subject to planning permission. One lucky purchaser will be given the opportunity to transform this property into a magnificent family home. Early interest is sure to be expected, Call Ray Cooke Auctioneers for further information to arrange viewing!

  • BOASTS MAGNIFICENT POTENTIAL
  • Peaceful cul de sac setting
  • Only minutes walk from Windy Arbour Luas Stop
  • Ample off street parking
  • Spectacular rear garden c. 60 ft long
  • Alarmed
  • Within easy reach of City Centre & M50 Motorway
  • A host of bus routes on your doorstep
  • Viewing highly advised!

myhome.ie/residential/brochu … 14/3120103


#62

I am tempted to write a plugin to strip EA bullshit from myhome ads.


#63

I rewote our EAs blurb when we were selling our house. Aside from the usual template bullshit, I felt mentioning the yacht club in Dun Laoghaire was irrelevant to our house in Blackrock.

Our EA was fine with it.


#64

But the yacht club and harbour provides easy access to a host of sea-based amenities, including onward connections to North and South America. Surely a key selling point?


#65

Also an opportunity for many irrelevant pictures!


#66

:smiley:


#67

myhome.ie/residential/brochure/f … -3/3125818

Investment opportunity for sale. Great location,needing modernisation. Contact Hibernian Estates for the viewing. Appointments by appointment only…


#68

A new record thanks to Sherry Fitzgerald! “Blackrock” has finally oozed over the N11 to annex half of Leopardstown.

myhome.ie/residential/brochu … in/3142200


#69

i wonder how much the “rock” has added to the price


#70

myhome.ie/residential/brochu … -3/3104197

well ballybough is now drumcondra, Dublin 3

unless I am mistaken and that is drumcondra.


#71

It’s not Ballybough. Ballybough only runs up to the Jones’ Road.
Drumcondra it is.


#72

Per An Post, the postal address is Blackrock.


#73

Well, doh, for the second time today. “Galloping Green, Blackrock” it is.


#74

Me: “Do you have any bids?”
EA: “We have interest just below the asking price!”
Me: “But do you have any bids?”
EA: “Not as such”


#75

“A rare opportunity”

Plenty of opportunities to get fleeced as far as I can see.


#76

This whole ad really:

myhome.ie/residential/brochu … in/3161516

The address is nonsense

The map puts the property in the middle of the UCD Science Block

There is no BER cert

The agent does not appear to hold a license under the name advertised (could be under a different name I guess).


#77

Does anyone else get a slight pang when they see the upstairs window offset over the door and garage door like that?..The designer in me just couldn’t cope with that elevation! If that’s a real house in ‘good’ Blackrock it’s well priced relatively speaking…but that window…bleuugh


#78

The vendors do seem to be throwing in the curtains and roller blinds with the sale. Bargain!


#79

“deceptively large” - but what does that mean?? The property seems large but is really very small? Or the property seems small but is really very large?? :open_mouth: :confused:


#80

It means it is close by.