Imaginary meeting between developer and estate agent
Developer: What to do, what to do? I’ve got a load of apartments on the N11 to shift and the bank manager is giving me grief, I need cashflow.
EA: Now that stamp duty is removed the FTB’s are no longer interested in overpriced shoeboxes (oops meant starter homes)
**Developer: ** Who can we flog these things to? I know, What about Canny McSavvy, the BTL investor?
**EA: **Their capital is already tied up in section 23, and they are trying to flog their investments in [insert midlands county] with no takers.
**Developer: **Is there no-one? what about immigrants? Kenny boy says they are buying?
EA: They’ve bought apartments in their native countries and laugh in our faces when we tell them the asking prices.
Developer: There must be someone, surely?
EA: What about students, they all drive cars these days, have mobile phones, aspirations to get on the ladder?
Developer: Don’t be daft, students don’t have money, and don’t universities have on campus accommodation?
EA: Ah, but their parents do…and the culchies will be only too willing to part with their money to be part of the Dublin 4 set, plus we’ll be able to use the old classics like property only ever goes up…you only want the best for Robopaddy jnr., why not get him started on the ladder now. Rent is dead money, why not invest? after all there will always be students willing to rent your apartment?
Developer: Grand so.
EA: I’m on it, typing up the press release for the newspapers as we speak.