The Lying Bastard that couldn't Lie!!

Saw a house today while I was out in my car and decided to check the price…nice house but built on a postage stamp, i.e. no back garden, not even a yard…and this is a big 6 bed house!
Me: Hi, can you tell me the guide price for the house in _____________ please?
Secretary: I’ll get someone to call you back, can I take a number?
Me: Yes, my number is 0871234567

10 minutes later

Lying Bastard Auctioneer: Hello, you were interested in the house in ______________ ?
Me: Yes, I was looking for the guide price.
LBA: Have you seen the house?
Me: Yes, I just drove past it.
LBA: and what’s your name?
Me: Gerard, can you tell me the guide price
LBA: well, there’s an offer of €650k on it now.
Me: That’s a great offer. I’d tell the owner to take it and run!
LBA: it’s a great house, very well built.
Me: still…that’s a great offer…I’d tell the owner to take it and run. How much is he looking for?
LBA: €700k. How much did you want to spend?
Me: €650k, Ideally I would rather buy a site for 250-300k and then build myself. …( I would pay max 500k for my dream home, not 650k, but I wanted to play the game)
LBA: why don’t you come up and have a look and make an offer of 650k and I’ll see what I can do (or something to that effect…i.e. come up and make an offer of 650k)
Me: but you already have an offer of 650k!
LBA: no, the offer is 600k.
Me: You just told me you had an offer of 650k not 600k.
LBA: eh, eh, (rustles some papers) No the offer is 600k
Me: OK, thanks, but I couldn’t be dealing with a guy like you.
LBA: I said it was 600k.
Me: No, you told me there was an offer of 650k, then you told me it was 600k.
LBA: there is an offer of 600k from a cash buyer but there was an offer of 650k from someone that needs to sell their home…we don’t take those offers so the offer is really 600k. I’m not really dealing with this sale, its someone else in the office that’s dealing with it. I’m just facilitating you in calling you back.
Me: Ok, thank you. Goodbye.

Do you think someone really has the number 1234567? :slight_smile:

Nice one scruffy !. I’ve had numerous calls like that… Ya know Mr. P Hantom He certainly gets about. I feel sometimes that we all should keep making those calls and tell those dishonest EAs what we think… I’m usually too busy doing something useful… Mmmm I’m off tomorrow though… :nin

Admit it though, you get a rush from conversations like that. I certainly do.
Why oh why oh why do they say straight off the bat…“I have an offer of x”

Who do they think they’re kidding?

Us obviously, but have they really spent so long not having to actually work that
they’ve lost the ability to engage in intelligent conversation.

My guy wasn’t as dumb as yours. He just said we have an offer of the asking price
and I said take it I won’t be anywhere near that…

Uh ah well let me check how concrete the offer is

Still, me likey the fun of talking to them.


I should have made this point earlier, I am not surprised that he tried to bullshit me…everyone knows somone that has been bullshited to by an auctioneer. what really surprised me was how bad he was at it.

Probably never got away with anything as a kid if hes that bad a liar.

I recall when I was a kid trying to buy something from another kid. I think it was a pen knife.
His dad (salesman) had obviously taught him never tell anyone how much you want until you hear
what they offer.

So I ask how much he wants.
He asks how much I want to pay.
I ask how much he wants.
He asks how much I want to pay.

This went on and on and on.

We actually both lost interest in the transaction rather than crack.

Sounds like my boyhood pal (all of about 7 years old) would have handled you better
than that EA.


Always be closing.

Perhaps we should start every call to an EA with, “I’m calling from work and my employer records all outbound and inbound calls, I just have to tell you legally… So, I was interested in a house…”

A few months ago I was renting a house for €900pm. The owner sent around an EA to get it valued. So when the EA called around, just out of interest I said i’d be interested in buying a house at the right price. I asked her how much she thought it was worth, and she said 385k.

I told her with the rent I was paying that would give a yield of under 3% so that valuation was far too high. She got flustered, guffawed, told me I was living in 2005 and walked out.

It hurts my head a little bit when I read things that. You know a great word for people like this? Struthious.
No chance to use it in conversation yet, but my moment is coming.

In 2005, where was she living?

The problem with estate agents is that they have a false knowledge. The financial crisis is highlightening this and they know it.


You’re lucky she didn’t triple your rent! :stuck_out_tongue:

Lies, lies, dam lies

They only people they are fooling these days are themselves. They have zero credibility IMHO. They should take their flowery language and shove it up their ****s, it isn’t even funny anymore, it’s pathetic but then again so are the ones spouting and printing it. :nin

That’s what you get for wearing the t-shirt.