women who love property too much

What help is there for womens like myself who are emotional attached to the idea of owning our own cave and are finding the renting bit hard going? Is the government offering any kind of assistance to our sort? even a helpline?


Most women have a very strong nesting instinct, which means that they can find renting a house or living in a house that isn’t homely enough or adequate enough for the needs of a family very frustrating.

So strong is the nesting instinct in many women, that I could see marriages breaking up over a woman feeling she is being coerced into living in a kip. Or, a marriage could break up because a woman, after many years of renting poor quality accomodation, might see no other way to improve her lot in life than to divorce and buy a house on her own.

A man who underestimates the importance of the nest to his woman is a man who had better beware that trouble is on the way.

I would even go so far as to say that a man who chronically underestimates and undermines the importance of the nest to his woman should perhaps not be married at all.

Women can feel disrespected and unloved if they believe their husband is willfully depriving them of the one thing in life they want most: a cozy nest, preferably containining a cozy lil’ family.

That’s Mrs Cockerspaniel’s view anyway.

You mean Irish women right? I speak from current and past experience that women from other cultures do NOT think like Irish women when it comes to “owning” a “house”.

None of the above.

I have no objcetion to wanting to own your own cave. I just object to paying too much money for it.

Look on it like this: spend too much money on the cave and there’s less to cough up on eBay for designer dresses and BT post Christmas sales and the like.

My issue with renting is that single occupancy apartments are WAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY too expensive. Also, a supply of unfurnished, white walled rental property would be good. YOu know like, in Germany where you can decorate as you wish while you rent provided you hand it back white walled?

Do you know something? I was just thinking along the same lines. I rented an apartment like this in Twickenham in London once and it was the best apartment rental I had. My own stuff, white walls (which I actually like!), plain carpets with my own rugs on top. Picture hooks in place on many walls, but free to add more as required. The Irish obsession with pimping an apartment and then renting as a high-end corporate let (are there really that many corporate clients?) is weird.

Does a long-term lease system exist?

Not in my experience, no, mainly because sale of the property allows you to break a Part VI tenancy and most leases are fixed to 12 months if they are time delimited.

Someone once told me that in archaic legislation, tenants in unfurnished accommodation had better rights than tenants in furnished accommodation with regards to security of tenure and that’s why most accommodation in Dublin was furnished rather than unfurnished. I live in an apartment that really is very tastefully done up…and completely different to how I would do it. It’s four years old. Also, because historically no one rented for very long in Ireland (given teh quality of the accommodation), most people wanted furnished.

I’d cheerfully take an unfurnished apartment on a long term lease but they don’t exist much here at the moment, although I suspect that oversupply might make things negotiable as that legislation is superceded by the 2004 rental act.

Brilliant! For a moment it seemed that’s a real book, I even went to Amazon to have a look inside, especially to check out the ‘new introduction’!
And WTF could be in the ‘updated resource section’: a list of shrinks specialising in property dependency???
Best laugh I’ve had all year (but then it’s early days)!

But is that really it Calina - furnished vs. unfurnished? I realise tenancy laws are geared against tenants, but the are more or less in every country. Afterall it IS the landlords property. But you can negotiate great lease deals, part of which is removal of all or part of the furnishing.

My girlfriend Is Guatemalan - lets say ‘white’ Guatemalan for the sake of clarity. We rent a house in south city Dublin – have done several years now. We both work, have a nice car which we rarely use, eat well, dress well, take plenty of time out to relax and exercise and, IMO, we have a very comfortable life. We travel about once a month, weekends or sometimes weeks away. We could quit our jobs, move somewhere cheap and never have to work again. I say all this only to paint the picture.

In the time she has been here she still cannot get over the regular questioning by Irish girls of why “I” don’t buy a “house”.

There is something deeply rooted in the IRISH female psyche, moreso than any other women I have met anywhere, about mortgaging/owning a house. And not an apartment, it’s dogmatically a “house”.

I really cannot fathom this.

No, I was just illustrating why much rental accommodation in Ireland tends to be furnished when all over the rest of Europe it tends to be unfurnished.

If I had an unfurnished single occupancy apartment with white walls, I could do the nesting thing all I liked with MY pictures on the wall, MY ornaments standing in little shelves which I could put up without having to bother the landlord about putting up cornershelves in the bathroom because I’ve twenty seven different bottles of perfume. I mean, I have this lovely leather three piece suite in my living room which I don’t much like along with curtains that I dislike but because when I moved in, it was on a year by year basis and sure I’d be moving soon, I didn’t go to the trouble of negotiating stuff out apart from a break clause. And I’ve been there nearly 4 years now.

A lot of it is the whole security of tenure thing. This is why Irish women want to buy. They fear landlords more than banks and I can’t blame them for that. I’ve twice had to explain in one syllable terms to landlords that this clause there meant they couldn’t throw me out at one week’s notice because they tried.

I know they can’t, but hell it’s stressful explaining it.

Chr1st, and we wanted to be free of the English crown for what exactly? :slight_smile:

I think if we had tenacy laws that allowed for…

  • 5 year+ leases
  • leases with eviction/notice period windows based around the school year
  • stronger right-to-privacy and right to reasonable modification (put up shelves) for tenants
  • stricter rights for landlords to get compensation if property not vacated ‘as was’
  • stricter and efficient application of ALL rules, including the above ones

…it might take some of the ‘fright’ out of renting for Irish women (and men)

Hopefully what will emerge from the property mania fiasco is a situ where we have entire estates of semi-ds and blocks of apartments that are owned and professionally controlled by private or public corporations subject to good laws, like what Ive outlined above.

Maybe then there is hope we can away from this destructive attitude we have toward “owning” property.

See, I don’t see anything wrong with owning property per se. I just object to it costing too much money which it has for the past 5 or 6 years, that’s all.

This is what people forget, it’s not an either or situation infinitum, it’s an either/or NOW situation. Later you know, it might be worth selling and renting or, now rent, buy later.

But don’t spend too much on it; same goes for rent really.


We spend around 1/3 a month to live where we do versus a 10% down, 25yr mortgage - plus, the big PLUS, I dont have a leveraged bet on a rapidly depreciating asset. Why oh why would I buy??? The social standing I/we would gain from “owning” is negilible compared to the whooping financial loss we would face. Problem is, most Irish people dont know what to do with the difference. Plus the social stigma of renting is simply too overpowering for most to bear for very long. The number of poor unfortunate people Ive seen brow beaten into buying in the last couple years is depressing.

I’m genuinely looking for coping strategies!
I’m not living in a kip at all, it’s a nice house in a nice area and the rent is equivalent of house prices of €250k at 4.5% over 30yrs while the lowest asking price is over €400k and that’s well down on 2006.
It’s just it feels like we’re living in a waiting room. It would be easier if it was unfurnished but the rental norms in this country will take time to change. I can’t rip out the shoulder damper also known as an electric shower, I can’t install a dishwasher, I can’t rip down the horrible 1980’s blind, etc. I haven’t put up our pictures yet because I’m finding it hard to admit I’ll be here for a while. I’m into gardening and I can’t plant anything. It’s driving me mental! I know I have little enough to worry about but’s as natural as wanting babies I reckon and any man with a 30 something woman knows you can’t argue with that force.

As for Miss Guatemala, is she
a. planning to live in Ireland for the rest of her days?
b. in her mid thirties?
c. Does she have a child?

If you can answer yes to these maybe I could meet her and learn a new way of thinking.

why not bite the bullet and personalise the place a bit? Put up pictures, put down rugs, take down blind and hide it under the bed while you go out and find a nice one to replace it.

I don’t want to get all interior decoratory but could you but new covers on the furnite or throws that are more to your taste or something?

I suppose you’re right whizzbang, finding it hard to motivate myself but I’ll get on with it and let you know how I get on.

OK I’ll bite :slight_smile:

Firstly, educate yourself fully and without any doubt why buying property in Ireland today anywhere close to asking prices is financial suicide. That is unless you have the full purchase price in cash and dont care blowing it all (i.e. lottery win, inheritance).

Once you’ve done that- switch off the noise. I find hill-walking, pilates, playing 5-a-side, the odd gym session to be excellent ways to turn off the over-bearing, insipid and parochial attitudes of some people here (and not just re property). Avoid any “analysis” in the papers or TVs, in fact better yet, cancel the TV. Change the subject of “owning” politely when it comes up, or make excuses to leave. Also, regular travel and socialising with foreigners is great for getting perspective on “owning”.

Know that, eventually, little by little the “Irish Mind” is turning around to your way of thinking.

In the meantime, live cheaply, save the difference and buy a lovely house in 2011 with a tiny mortgage. Note, none of this says you cant have kids and enjoy life right now!

Hope that helps!

Walk the Water are you a bloke perchance?

I know it’s foolish to buy now, hence the renting. I don’t need educating, I don’t feel pressure from family, tv etc. It’s all myself. It’s a purely emotional thing, 2011 way too far away.
I have a kid, and do enjoy life!
I will keep reminding myself that the longer I hold out the better the house. That helps.

This actually works. And I can see it happening. Before my eyes. What is within scope now compared to 2 years ago is AMAZING.

Now I want MORE, goddamnit. 2 years ago I couldn’t buy an apartment in Finglas. Now actual houses are within range. I reckon if I want another 2 years, where I do want to buy might be an option.


Every day now that you dont buy you have more financial resources to devote to your kid. He/She needs not only a stable home environment (the “owned” house you so crave), but also an education, healthcare, and most importantly parents who have the time and money to nuture them. A child cares nought about the house as long as its full of loving and attentive parents. No house will make up for parents who are bankrupt or penniless and/or absent cos they work like indentured slaves.

I cannot say it strongly enough, property prices are heading off a cliff. Wait, wait, wait.